My neighbors/relatives, Darrel and Simone, had left the country for a wedding last week, and had asked me to do their chores while they were gone. (They’re back now, though, so if you were hoping to rob them while they were away, don’t even try.)
The first day I had to do their chores was a beautiful and sunny one. Since it was so nice out, I decided to walk to their house instead of driving. As I was nearing their house, I all of a sudden felt a drop of water on my head.
“That’s weird,” I thought, “There isn’t a cloud in the sky!”
I glanced up and there was a bird flying overhead.
“Oh, surely that bird didn’t just poop on my head!”
I tentatively reached up and touched the area where I’d felt the drop. Sure enough, when I brought my hand down, my fingers held the telltale evidence of bird poop.
I was frustrated and embarrassed, and felt like every person driving by me could see an enormous patch of white bird poop on my head. When I got to Darrell and Simone’s house I looked in the mirror and realized that it actually wasn’t that noticeable. Nevertheless, I cleaned it out the best I could.
Now it was time for me to do their chores. I checked on the cows, made sure they had water, and then headed towards the goat pen. As I approached, an enthusiastic goat came running towards me. In any other situation, this would have been delightful, but this goat was supposed to be in his pen, not following me around! Immediately, memories of trying to get sheep and cows into their pens flooded my mind and I groaned internally. This goat didn’t seem to need to be chased, however. He gleefully followed me wherever I went.
“Well,” I thought, “The first order of business is to figure out how this goat got out.”
So I tested the electric fence, and it was still working. I also glanced around, and there were no obvious holes in the fence. I thought about trying to put the goat back in and watching it to see if it escaped again, but I couldn’t even figure out how to do that. I couldn’t see an area where you could unhook the fence, and the goat was much too heavy to lift over the fence.
Finally, I decided I would just walk the whole way around the pen to see if I could find where the goat got out. As I was walking around the fence, I finally saw a place to unhook the fence.
“This is perfect!” I thought, “Now I can put the goat in and find where it’s getting out!”
This was a great plan. I started walking towards that area, and the goat began following me as usual. The problem arose when the goat realized that the patch of grass about 20 feet away from the unhooking area had some superb grass. The goat began to graze and refused to move any further.
“Come on goat!” I said, exasperated. “We’re so close!”
But the goat wouldn’t budge. I tried bribing it with feed, but apparently, the grass was tastier. I tried picking it up, but as we established earlier, the goat was to heavy for me to lift. I tried pushing, I tried pulling, and I tried moving the goat’s legs for it, but that goat refused to move more than a foot.
“Fine!” I yelled, “If you want to stay here, stay! I’m going to figure out how you escaped.”
So I began walking around the pen, checking for areas where a goat might be able to slip out. I was just coming around the last side when the herd of goats that were still in the pen came barrelling towards me, and lo and behold, the escapee goat was among them.
I felt like crying out of happiness and out of frustration.
Thankfully, I’d been able to see the general area that the herd had come from, and found where the goat probably got out. I found a few fiberglass fenceposts and boarded up the area as best I could.
Then I fed the other animals and went home. And thus ended my animal escapades for the day.