Since the end of my Junior year of high school, I’ve known that I wanted to be an engineer. I liked the idea of being outside of the ordinary (a female, Mennonite engineer isn’t too common), and I was good at math, so why not? I decided I would follow in my brothers’ footsteps, go to a community college, then Oregon State University, and get a B.S. in Mechanical Engineering. I would maybe minor in Humanitarian Engineering too, because somewhere deep inside of me there’s a need to serve other people.
So that’s what I told everybody I would do, and that’s what I began to work towards. And all along the way I secretly prized those raised eyebrows that I got from older Mennonite ministers, and felt like I was maybe a little bit better than those Mennonite girls who just went straight from high school into teaching little Mennonite kids at a little Mennonite school in a little Mennonite Community. They were just following the easy path. Right?
However, the more I studied engineering, the more I realized that I didn’t find it that enjoyable. I mean, it was okay, but I didn’t feel any passion for it. It was just something I was doing because it was there. I wasn’t getting the thrill out of engineering in the same way I got a thrill out of the idea of engineering.
So now my opinions on Mennonite girls who just teach are coming back to bite me in the butt, because I’m realizing that what I really want to do is teach. More specifically, teach high school math and science. I feel as though my calling in life is to serve, and I feel passionate about the education of the next generation, specifically the next generation of Mennonites.
Funnily enough, my brother, Ben, had almost the opposite experience. He started his engineering education without a lot of passion for it, and originally had the intent of teaching. However the further he went into engineering, the more he enjoyed it, and the more of a passion he had for it..
I realized that I was only pursuing engineering because I wanted to prove a point. I wanted to prove that Mennonite girls can be engineers if they want to, and that we aren’t held back from that by our denomination or our gender. I realized, I don’t want to do something that’s not right for me, just to prove a point. I still think Mennonite girls are fully capable of being engineers, but it wan’t the path for me.
So starting Fall of 2017, I will no longer be pursuing the goal of being an engineer. Instead, I’ll be working towards becoming a math and/or science teacher, and leave the engineering to those more passionate about it than myself.
Anyway, there’s a little update on what’s been swimming around in my skull.
I hope you all have an excellent Wednesday.